relationship-advice

I used to think that guys like Puck from Glee were the very definition of "Playa." They were usually moderately to extremely handsome, would look me up and down like I was a ham sandwich and throw out lines like, "Hey beautiful! It must've hurt!" (You know...the angel falling from heaven one). Or, "Hey Baby! You look so good tonight! Can I get your number?"

(P.S. Honesty Part 1 is actually titled "The Secret to Making a Relationship Work")

I wanted to continue with the Honesty talk because, though I think most of us consider ourselves to be honest people, we're actually quite often BIG FAT LIARS;) and we don't realize how much this damages our relationships. Last time I focused on I've kept things from partners in the past. Now I'm going to talk about what it's like to be on the other end of the non-truth.

It took me awhile to post this blog because it's one that makes me squirm. That and I don't have it wrapped up in a nice bow with a perfect ending.

I'm talking about feeling the pressure to be beautiful (on the outside) and how it can effect feelings of self-worth. I don't like opening up about this because it's something I feel I should be over by now (yes, I'm judging myself) and it makes me feel like I'm a weak woman for still struggling with it.

Here's how I learned that being beautiful was more important than anything:

I've done this most of my life: Look to the other person/people in the room to see how I should be acting and responding in any given situation. It may sound pathetic and weak, as a "strong, liberated woman" would be able to define herself. Alas, it's still true.

WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?

I've figured it out! How to make a relationship work and last, that is. I've been married almost an entire year now so I think I'm qualified to call myself an expert, don't you? Well, truth is that if I hadn't figured this out (or, more accurately, been informed via our therapist over the years), we would never have stayed together & gotten married in the first place.

So what's the big secret? Sex that drives him wild? Having a home cooked meal ready for him when he gets home every night? Liking all the same things? I used to think so.

You may be surprised to see a gal like me (who is all "Go women!" in life) ask this question. But, shouldn't we be fair and look at both sides of the story before declaring someone a D-bag? I say yes!

Johnny boy gets such a bad rap but what has he really done to warrant such animosity? Are we all just haters because we wish we could have him but know we can't?

Over the years this statement has meant different things to me. Sometimes I thought of it more in terms of what it didn't mean. As in, a woman who "Owned" her sexuality wasn't a prude who had to wait until she was in love to get it on. She didn't have any such restrictions. Women have sexual desires just like men, I'd say, so why can't we get them met like guys do? Why can't we detach sex from emotions and just go for it?