confidence

It took me awhile to post this blog because it's one that makes me squirm. That and I don't have it wrapped up in a nice bow with a perfect ending.

I'm talking about feeling the pressure to be beautiful (on the outside) and how it can effect feelings of self-worth. I don't like opening up about this because it's something I feel I should be over by now (yes, I'm judging myself) and it makes me feel like I'm a weak woman for still struggling with it.

Here's how I learned that being beautiful was more important than anything:

I've done this most of my life: Look to the other person/people in the room to see how I should be acting. It may sound pathetic and weak, as a "strong, liberated woman" would be able to define herself. Alas, it's still true.

WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?
Growing up with a therapist as a father, you'd think I would have learned the opposite...that he would have taught me it was healthy to express myself and make my voice be heard and that, similarly, it was unhealthy to try and hide or cover up parts of myself that I was ashamed of. That's what you would think, right?