Music: Love it or Leave it

And I did both.

I know my millions ~;) of fans out there are wondering what happened to me over the last few years. Well, my friends, in order to explain that I have to go back to the beginning (of my music career...not my life).

In 2002 I fell in love with music when I saw a local band called Alice Texas playing at, of all places, Starbucks in Astor Place. When I saw the lead singer, Alice, sing and play guitar with such raw passion I knew that was what I wanted to do.

After writing a few songs, playing an open mic and some shows I eventually, with the help of some amazing musicians, put out my first album called Revelations in 2004. Before it had even been released I was told by a music big-wig (with serious cred, yo) that he was going to get me a major label record deal and that I was as good as famous.  

I was surprised it came so easily, and even felt guilty, having figured I'd have to struggle for years like everyone else, but there it was. And it was thrilling. Everyone told me not to count my chickens and I knew they were right but I couldn't help but myself. I was going to be the next P J Harvey!

During that year the music industry was falling apart with several labels closing and I never got the deal I was promised.

I know you're probably thinking, "Oh, poor baby--didn't get her record deal after barely even trying...Must be horrible (sarcasm, sarcasm)." I realize now that it was irrational, but I was completely devastated. It wasn't that I wasn't going to be famous. I saw it as a rejection. I saw it as the music world saying "You're not good enough. You don't belong here."

SO, like anything that one may feel rejected by, I pushed it away. I stopped listening to music. I didn't use my ipod for 2 years. Every time I heard a song I was reminded of what I couldn't have. I became that bitter person I never thought I would become. I left music.

Then (hear the AHHH of angels;), about a year and a half ago I started listening to music again. I even went to a concert and saw She&Him and didn't hate them for being good. Little by little I let music back in. And now, like a delicate relationship, I want to be careful to let the love grow naturally and slowly without rushing it.

And that's what I'm doing. I'm here. I love music again. It's a start! xxoo Jodi